At times of significant change, it is often the loss of our future that causes resistance, not the loss of our past
Think about that for a moment. When there is any change in our life, it isn’t the loss of what we have had or has happened that we are most concerned with, but the loss of what we had imagined to happen. Of course, this may include past experiences that we had planned into our future.
So, maybe it is the loss of certainty and order that we have created for ourselves that evokes a range of emotions such as shock, denial, disbelief, mistrust and anxiety – sometimes, even anger and bitterness.
And, what about when we are not directly affected by such change?
Even then we may experience a similar range of feelings, such as relief, guilt, anger and insecurity.
Traditional theories often illustrate this range of emotions as linear, a standard line experienced through time and at varying degrees of intensity. Yet, how we respond and the emotions we have can vary quite markedly from person to person. How can this be so?
Well, have you ever noticed how two people can experience the same thing yet recall it completely differently? You may say that they hold different perspectives on the same situation.
People who view change as a threat will often hold fixed, rigid beliefs that are left unchallenged. These people will find it difficult to see from their perspective how any good could come out of change. Sometimes, they even wonder how they will ever get by again!
On the other hand, people who embrace change seem to have far more open and flexible beliefs, choosing to respond in a resourceful way by constantly shifting perspective. They somehow know that although they may not be able to change the experience, they can choose how to respond to it!
How would it be if you could shift your perspective with an experience that you’ve had? What if you were able to pause and find a different way to respond to change? What new choices would a different perspective reveal?